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1.赌城边上的一个生意人在街上碰到一个衣着不齐的流浪汉一样的人。 那人向生意人诉苦道：“先生，您能施舍我50块钱吗？我已经有两天两夜没有吃饭了。” 生意人瞥了一眼四周密密麻麻排列着的DC，怀疑地问道：“我怎么知道你不会拿这钱去赌？” 那人急忙辩道：“不会的！赌的钱我已经要到了！”' [2 r( E) }! I& h
8 q; {' ]4 v; m" d' U+ ^9 _" h2.有一个赌棍，每次DB都会带自己的女友去，而且每次都会赢!有一天女友终于按捺不住了，问男友：“你怎么每次赌都带我去，是不是想用我的美色勾引他们?”# V h: |; K1 p3 W7 F8 _$ e
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男友不屑地回答道：“你想哪儿去了，我带你去是吓他们的!”
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3.老公爱打MJ，有天上小学的女儿对他说：老湿说打麻将是Dubo，会被JC抓走的。
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; n8 W: K& d( @. L老公：怕啥呀，万一我被判刑了，你可以给老爸送饭啊。/ F4 c2 H$ D+ T1 z& r# \
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女儿同情地说：万一判死刑呢。。。
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! S9 j# o5 V& U% @& a$ a笑死我了。。。& } O- x" m6 f9 F) |
( @+ Z- [" o4 l1 {! E/ W/ C2 y4.我的一个小外甥女，有一次接她放学回家，# d' q, T n7 d$ ^" ^# q
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可能是饿了，一回家就要吃饭，
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& C# u' f. Y9 L' M. p3 N% }我就想逗逗她:小妞妞，想吃饭要背三字经给舅舅听哦，不然没饭吃哦!
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# G) v& I( }( K她一听急了张口就来:人之初，性本善，要读书，先吃饭!
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晚上，孩子趴在桌子上写日记：“夜深了，妈妈仍在打MJ，爸爸仍在上网……”
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恰巧爸爸走了过来，看到孩子写的这句话，有点不高兴，! H+ {" Y. F: V- B3 J
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就教育孩子说：“日记不能照搬生活，要源于生活，高于生活!”/ a3 `' Z- \6 Y2 X# Y. M- l* U
/ Z3 [% [) j* v8 N3 Y9 f孩子听了，马上修改为：“夜深了，妈妈仍在DB，爸爸仍在网恋…
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" a+ K, m5 a6 Y+ ^$ T3 F3 N5 \' J5.两天输掉十多万了，我一天的固定收入才四千，
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1 U+ n) \" I: Y% _我不能再沉迷于DB了，该找个姑娘过正常人的生活了！5 M) |( G( F9 I2 @0 x
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一女看我留言后:你若能改，我愿意做你女朋友。
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当晚我俩见面开房，睡后，躺床上女问我：你是做什么生意的？. l B7 z/ K7 h+ |; R+ J4 A) P; C
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我，无业闲人一个。( T0 ~! @4 M7 Z3 w* j3 L5 z
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女:扯淡，那怎么每天收入四千？
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我说的是欢乐豆，一天就能领四千豆。
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女：滚她妈犊子，滚…2 |, g/ _7 m b1 m! |. E) `
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当前离线
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