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1.赌城边上的一个生意人在街上碰到一个衣着不齐的流浪汉一样的人。 那人向生意人诉苦道:“先生,您能施舍我50块钱吗?我已经有两天两夜没有吃饭了。” 生意人瞥了一眼四周密密麻麻排列着的DC,怀疑地问道:“我怎么知道你不会拿这钱去赌?” 那人急忙辩道:“不会的!赌的钱我已经要到了!”7 p% B) Y3 k% {. _( |5 ^' V
! K8 d4 `6 d0 `" H' q9 A" R2.有一个赌棍,每次DB都会带自己的女友去,而且每次都会赢!有一天女友终于按捺不住了,问男友:“你怎么每次赌都带我去,是不是想用我的美色勾引他们?”2 z% D* y0 ^! }# s0 Z6 p
/ _- E9 Y( o. M3 o* D$ W# Y" v男友不屑地回答道:“你想哪儿去了,我带你去是吓他们的!”% A6 J. Y; _( I$ F' @% K- x* s
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3.老公爱打MJ,有天上小学的女儿对他说:老湿说打麻将是Dubo,会被JC抓走的。
( `8 M/ W, B$ p5 h' ?1 V/ a" ~, y4 u% L' m. R R$ B
老公:怕啥呀,万一我被判刑了,你可以给老爸送饭啊。6 r1 {3 e7 P6 r! A/ U! f# `
4 R5 k9 w, H+ {: J. J @/ m8 W女儿同情地说:万一判死刑呢。。。. F$ Y3 H4 ~9 F" K
8 o# W, I. U; ^* y9 \/ b2 s3 d! J @/ ?笑死我了。。。
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4 A) \2 s8 T9 {4.我的一个小外甥女,有一次接她放学回家,
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可能是饿了,一回家就要吃饭,, a& l* ~; k# ^# U4 x
! r6 Z- A; S: @" e* d6 i+ Q8 d& Z我就想逗逗她:小妞妞,想吃饭要背三字经给舅舅听哦,不然没饭吃哦!! S6 b/ I# t' D/ Q+ o3 z& n
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她一听急了张口就来:人之初,性本善,要读书,先吃饭!
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晚上,孩子趴在桌子上写日记:“夜深了,妈妈仍在打MJ,爸爸仍在上网……”3 Z! v+ T% a C o5 Y" h
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恰巧爸爸走了过来,看到孩子写的这句话,有点不高兴,
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; o/ x# c2 p9 S" E就教育孩子说:“日记不能照搬生活,要源于生活,高于生活!”
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孩子听了,马上修改为:“夜深了,妈妈仍在DB,爸爸仍在网恋…
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5.两天输掉十多万了,我一天的固定收入才四千,
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: b' X- Y6 X- h8 q+ q% t我不能再沉迷于DB了,该找个姑娘过正常人的生活了!
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6 G N+ H" B) L+ t一女看我留言后:你若能改,我愿意做你女朋友。
2 i# H m& q9 H( r
% ]9 A' h: V( b! o# T& g1 V# }( Q! d' }当晚我俩见面开房,睡后,躺床上女问我:你是做什么生意的?" [4 u# W) Z/ V, U2 k% i
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我,无业闲人一个。6 i5 h& C- T4 u
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女:扯淡,那怎么每天收入四千? F& |5 u; d& v( ^! ^
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我说的是欢乐豆,一天就能领四千豆。3 I/ @/ X% C5 o! E
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女:滚她妈犊子,滚…3 ^. J. |- M, H5 \- O& S1 T. e
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当前离线
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