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一伙劫匪在抢劫银行时说了一句至理名言： “通通不许动，钱是国家的，命是自己的！”大家都一声不吭躺倒。——这叫观念转化，改变原有固定思维方式。
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劫匪望了一眼穿着裙子躺在桌上呈大字形的出纳小姐，说：“请你躺文明些！这是劫财，又不是劫色！”——这叫坚持职业操守，不该干的不干！* w% \& K# e; K! c/ b/ O) ^7 x6 D
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抢劫成功回去后，其中一个新来的劫匪（硕士学历）说，“老大，我们赶快数一下抢了多少”
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那老劫匪（小学学历）说：“你傻啊？这么多钱，你要数到什么时候啊？今天晚上看新闻不就知道了吗。” ——这就叫工作经验，这年头工作经验比学历更重要! N5 F" c/ ~! s& V' o) j, m
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: ]" ~& _3 @4 g劫匪走后，行长说，赶紧报案！主任刚要走，行长急忙说：“ 等等！把我们上次私自挪用的那五百万也加上去！”——这叫危机预案，化不利为有利！
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主任说：“要是劫匪每个月都来抢一回就好了”。—— 工作很枯燥，快乐最重要！
8 Z2 V, ?7 X/ O8 g$ Y3 @3 P第二天新闻联播报道银行被抢了一亿，可劫匪数来数去只有两千万。
- Y4 S0 P% w9 l老大骂道：“妈的，老子拼了一条命才抢了两千万，银行行长动动手指头就赚了八千万，看来这年头还是要读书啊！”——知识可以转化金钱的明证！: i$ t$ o& N, @8 T5 ]
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银行行长看到新闻联播后激动滴对主任说：“妈的，你小子可以，胆儿够肥的啊……”
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