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1.赌城边上的一个生意人在街上碰到一个衣着不齐的流浪汉一样的人。 那人向生意人诉苦道:“先生,您能施舍我50块钱吗?我已经有两天两夜没有吃饭了。” 生意人瞥了一眼四周密密麻麻排列着的DC,怀疑地问道:“我怎么知道你不会拿这钱去赌?” 那人急忙辩道:“不会的!赌的钱我已经要到了!”
9 i: n) D J# N1 B: M& T4 X5 b) @" v. Z6 D
2.有一个赌棍,每次DB都会带自己的女友去,而且每次都会赢!有一天女友终于按捺不住了,问男友:“你怎么每次赌都带我去,是不是想用我的美色勾引他们?”+ m& y: l& u; @, U2 d
/ }; ?4 O, i$ m2 {' J) P2 O男友不屑地回答道:“你想哪儿去了,我带你去是吓他们的!”/ K3 P" I |5 L8 a, f2 G# u( M6 x
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3.老公爱打MJ,有天上小学的女儿对他说:老湿说打麻将是Dubo,会被JC抓走的。& a/ x, j( c \% n! X
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老公:怕啥呀,万一我被判刑了,你可以给老爸送饭啊。' \$ ?; {+ R. X) z; [6 ^
2 h5 ]& n6 l6 G* [% r+ J% h女儿同情地说:万一判死刑呢。。。
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4 j R$ O- B" w- j笑死我了。。。
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4.我的一个小外甥女,有一次接她放学回家,% G( e' b: h" ~5 b2 j
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可能是饿了,一回家就要吃饭,
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我就想逗逗她:小妞妞,想吃饭要背三字经给舅舅听哦,不然没饭吃哦! Z# g) N- c. m
0 N1 o* S. z0 w+ u8 C1 |$ n* W她一听急了张口就来:人之初,性本善,要读书,先吃饭!( [- n! @% L/ }1 l$ B( j$ j% ?* M
# q6 Q+ a5 t( q8 O$ ~) A晚上,孩子趴在桌子上写日记:“夜深了,妈妈仍在打MJ,爸爸仍在上网……”
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/ I) t& v2 Q- x$ L* x S恰巧爸爸走了过来,看到孩子写的这句话,有点不高兴,
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就教育孩子说:“日记不能照搬生活,要源于生活,高于生活!”
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$ Z; |7 a$ Z& T6 d( v+ l) D4 |孩子听了,马上修改为:“夜深了,妈妈仍在DB,爸爸仍在网恋…
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) J/ B- |+ F* d5.两天输掉十多万了,我一天的固定收入才四千,
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+ S- A% F3 X/ i. Y6 z我不能再沉迷于DB了,该找个姑娘过正常人的生活了!9 P$ \& p2 S1 _
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一女看我留言后:你若能改,我愿意做你女朋友。& M4 q% k, j R: S4 d2 ^& s
+ _+ `4 b6 }7 U7 a! g当晚我俩见面开房,睡后,躺床上女问我:你是做什么生意的?
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4 ^; F: A" L: h m我,无业闲人一个。
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7 i0 ]- T L: J. a; K8 |8 v女:扯淡,那怎么每天收入四千?. m; |7 H6 Q/ N0 g
& m& Q& q( o7 e+ N3 u7 B我说的是欢乐豆,一天就能领四千豆。 m# i" k! u% c
+ ?7 z, C$ K- H女:滚她妈犊子,滚…
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当前离线
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