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大庄家娱乐城祝教师节快乐——教师节段子
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带起节奏，送来欢乐- b5 u( A& ^. s' K; _
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* @5 N% d9 `/ L/ `$ `5 ?9 l今天是教师节，大家一起来发段子吧！ }! m; }/ z" @5 l6 w
我先来！2 t: O, ^2 w7 I/ l/ Y C( s$ Q
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A说：“今天考试我交了白卷。”Ｂ说：“哎，我也交了白卷。”
3 R* j w T4 y. _8 L; i" B/ W同学Ａ生气的说：“你怎么能交白卷呢，老师会以为我们抄袭的！”
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深夜，王老师批改完最后一份试卷，疲惫地拧开了收音机，想听音乐放松一下。收音机里传来了dj的声音："xx中学高三级x班全班同学一同把这首歌奉献给他们敬爱的王xx老师听，感谢他多年来给他们出了无数道练习题(尤其是这年)，使他们得到了宝贵的练习机会……"听到这，王老师的眼睛湿润了，心力交瘁的脸上露出一安慰的笑意。dj又继续说："……现在就让我们一起来听这首歌，李惠敏的《你不会有好结果》…"
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一位年轻女教师初次执教小学生美术课。她在黑板上画一个苹果问学生说：“这是什么呀？”学生异口同声回答：“是屁股。”女教师哭着去找校长，校长一听大怒，跟着老师来到教室训斥学生说：“你们越来越不像话了，为什么又把老师气哭了？”回头看了一看“啊！还在黑板上画了个屁股！” <span] 老师去吃自助餐] 昨天老妈教弟弟做作业，弟弟不动脑筋思考，4 ]& i, X& T5 P) ~ ?" {
每道题都问妈妈，妈妈怒了：“你每道题都不会，干脆我帮你做算了！”
/ x& g" q6 b& _7 C弟弟淡淡地说：“不行！字迹不一样会被老师发现的！” <span] 考场上一女生抱怨说：“老师，天气太热了，风扇都没风！”谁料老师说：“别急，等会儿看到试卷你就心凉了。” <span] 一帅哥毕业后到一所女子学校任教，由于年轻的男老师级少，
: y* h3 H, ?) \3 h6 m所以非常受欢迎。0 Y+ i: ~( u6 K* g1 p: t
第一堂课，有一位女学生忘记带课本，帅哥老师请她站起来，, m- I! S; w3 I1 `) w$ W) G5 T: W
问其他同学该怎么处罚。她们很有默契的齐声说：“老师亲她一个！”
]4 q% z3 E) l" g7 S1 l1 l" `, ]大家等着看老师的反应。老师瞄了那位同学一眼，
# A; Q. a1 Q: v1 n8 p- e, N回答：“不可以处罚老师！” <span] 今天听见两个老师在讨论管理上课吃东西的事情说：
l2 X& s) Z6 g5 B: m有个学生老在我上课的时候偷吃瓜子，我毫不客气，见一次抓一次，一抓就是一大把！！！
' R& y5 v: V: @( |' t2 y `& T不知道是不是我的错，那个上课吃东西的学生，被我抓过几次，但最近一两个月都没看过他上课吃东西了，我整个人瘦了很多。 <span] 一小学教师，最近在学车却不怎么喜欢去练车，教练问：“为什么经常没来学车？”! b& d) v) \* a) s' p
她：“在学校都是我骂学生，来你这边老是被你骂，我很不爽！！！” <span] 上高中嘴馋，几个同学合计买烧烤吃，不想带回来的时候被班主任发现没收了，结果第二天班主任闹了一天的肚子。 <span] 生物老师非洲野猪& ]2 z$ j# \3 _5 G0 o) Z3 Z9 _
生物老师正兴致勃勃在台上描述非洲野猪的长相，偶尔眼光一扫台下，竟发现多数学生在打瞌睡。" K. m2 Q7 _( I
于是大为恼火，喝道：“你们要看着我啊!不看我，你们怎么知道非洲野猪长的是什么样子?” <span] 老师：小明，你的美劳作品太好了，明天学校要派你参加全市的比赛。5 s0 j* v Q: c, H; j' t, S4 m
小明：不行% m% _ X l/ ]/ f
老师：為什麼？1 a- [0 ~3 c" d7 C
小明：劳作是我爸做的，他明天要上班 <span] 妈妈：小明，你看，妹妹考100分，你才50分
- I7 _! @4 t, [. i& W小明：我是照你的话做的# ~0 V P; m9 p
妈妈：我说了什麼？) x0 A* U8 f1 o1 L
小明：你说我只要有妹妹的一半就很好了 <span] 小外甥女刚上一年级，有次语文考试得了74分，7 W. W6 b' |& B6 x
她拿成绩单回来的时候她爸妈很生气，
& t, a3 S: `" q2 y9 \) T& P6 U就问你为什么只考了74] 老师：“] 老师：现在上‘急救课’“先做口对口人工呼吸”“这样重复做，会怎样？”& _% {/ x( ?# ?& V
小明：有人会告你性骚扰 <span] 小明放学回到家就问：麻麻，你不说女人都喜欢被夸吗？) R3 Z4 |% P4 Y2 A9 f) R( Y
妈妈说：是啊，为什么这么问？
* \) G+ R) A/ x小明沮丧着说：今天老师穿着超短裙来上课，我就夸老师，你的内裤好漂亮啊！
) w* M6 w3 @" @1 B. C然后，老师就给我撵出去了！！！
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大家每人发一个关于教师段子在跟贴后面，一起用关于教师的笑话来庆祝伟大的教育工作者的节日。3 r1 t5 v! k3 @1 z; }; H( Y/ H
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