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大庄家娱乐城祝教师节快乐——教师节段子
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带起节奏，送来欢乐
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' p4 b, x3 i: b& A1 c. Z* w* x今天是教师节，大家一起来发段子吧！% \8 r( d" M$ E: F+ B% V3 y$ g7 u
我先来！
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, `0 F( D% q* y. U7 C: `$ ?/ |A说：“今天考试我交了白卷。”Ｂ说：“哎，我也交了白卷。”" ]* ~' m. X) E3 }
同学Ａ生气的说：“你怎么能交白卷呢，老师会以为我们抄袭的！”
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深夜，王老师批改完最后一份试卷，疲惫地拧开了收音机，想听音乐放松一下。收音机里传来了dj的声音："xx中学高三级x班全班同学一同把这首歌奉献给他们敬爱的王xx老师听，感谢他多年来给他们出了无数道练习题(尤其是这年)，使他们得到了宝贵的练习机会……"听到这，王老师的眼睛湿润了，心力交瘁的脸上露出一安慰的笑意。dj又继续说："……现在就让我们一起来听这首歌，李惠敏的《你不会有好结果》…"7 S# ~1 w, ?! l( e5 q; C( \
3 C: n& N: Z) J9 h$ G
+ h' u$ t# d3 b( F3 f" Q" _一位年轻女教师初次执教小学生美术课。她在黑板上画一个苹果问学生说：“这是什么呀？”学生异口同声回答：“是屁股。”女教师哭着去找校长，校长一听大怒，跟着老师来到教室训斥学生说：“你们越来越不像话了，为什么又把老师气哭了？”回头看了一看“啊！还在黑板上画了个屁股！” <span] 老师去吃自助餐] 昨天老妈教弟弟做作业，弟弟不动脑筋思考，
2 [/ l* R/ t5 Y' v G, M每道题都问妈妈，妈妈怒了：“你每道题都不会，干脆我帮你做算了！”/ r5 e! Y- |2 U
弟弟淡淡地说：“不行！字迹不一样会被老师发现的！” <span] 考场上一女生抱怨说：“老师，天气太热了，风扇都没风！”谁料老师说：“别急，等会儿看到试卷你就心凉了。” <span] 一帅哥毕业后到一所女子学校任教，由于年轻的男老师级少，5 b8 `& k! G2 e0 u
所以非常受欢迎。) s/ W$ Q0 B3 F a' E+ Q* y1 m
第一堂课，有一位女学生忘记带课本，帅哥老师请她站起来，
4 t) O8 A. k9 f% D2 }6 r问其他同学该怎么处罚。她们很有默契的齐声说：“老师亲她一个！”
: e1 K2 y% ?/ {4 E" D: b) n5 k* S大家等着看老师的反应。老师瞄了那位同学一眼，4 c" }4 Q- B9 |) }! @/ }0 J
回答：“不可以处罚老师！” <span] 今天听见两个老师在讨论管理上课吃东西的事情说：# l6 ?6 ?8 z, \& K! r( f
有个学生老在我上课的时候偷吃瓜子，我毫不客气，见一次抓一次，一抓就是一大把！！！% ^# J& y4 g) G4 j$ e
不知道是不是我的错，那个上课吃东西的学生，被我抓过几次，但最近一两个月都没看过他上课吃东西了，我整个人瘦了很多。 <span] 一小学教师，最近在学车却不怎么喜欢去练车，教练问：“为什么经常没来学车？”1 @& t/ w( A) ^( v \- U2 c
她：“在学校都是我骂学生，来你这边老是被你骂，我很不爽！！！” <span] 上高中嘴馋，几个同学合计买烧烤吃，不想带回来的时候被班主任发现没收了，结果第二天班主任闹了一天的肚子。 <span] 生物老师非洲野猪% g3 k5 x6 E) r' u; i+ Q% D9 K
生物老师正兴致勃勃在台上描述非洲野猪的长相，偶尔眼光一扫台下，竟发现多数学生在打瞌睡。
- P" E; ~$ h E m于是大为恼火，喝道：“你们要看着我啊!不看我，你们怎么知道非洲野猪长的是什么样子?” <span] 老师：小明，你的美劳作品太好了，明天学校要派你参加全市的比赛。0 h/ u$ g7 i* P Q
小明：不行
# c: z4 _# \+ p0 X5 Z% ?老师：為什麼？
5 w4 ^: z& l; O$ e. [/ s7 ^小明：劳作是我爸做的，他明天要上班 <span] 妈妈：小明，你看，妹妹考100分，你才50分* Z/ r/ x% {( c! {
小明：我是照你的话做的
# ?$ y4 W T! p- M# l& a' Z妈妈：我说了什麼？$ ]+ r: D! l4 N3 ~+ t
小明：你说我只要有妹妹的一半就很好了 <span] 小外甥女刚上一年级，有次语文考试得了74分，( k' J! l& Z4 J* W
她拿成绩单回来的时候她爸妈很生气，8 P4 j2 y) h# t0 `! ?% c( f' a
就问你为什么只考了74] 老师：“] 老师：现在上‘急救课’“先做口对口人工呼吸”“这样重复做，会怎样？”: _/ P! X0 V% u8 l* s" U3 P# v
小明：有人会告你性骚扰 <span] 小明放学回到家就问：麻麻，你不说女人都喜欢被夸吗？
) S9 w" S4 t: Q& u妈妈说：是啊，为什么这么问？
1 a; E2 F6 @! \小明沮丧着说：今天老师穿着超短裙来上课，我就夸老师，你的内裤好漂亮啊！
" _/ i/ u( ]9 t7 j6 m: e" i! g然后，老师就给我撵出去了！！！ ! b$ a* y, f" O" S" _2 H* c& @, v. A
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% W C/ T! F/ _. p2 g大家每人发一个关于教师段子在跟贴后面，一起用关于教师的笑话来庆祝伟大的教育工作者的节日。6 d' G9 Y X0 d, ~
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