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大庄家娱乐城祝教师节快乐——教师节段子
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带起节奏，送来欢乐
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今天是教师节，大家一起来发段子吧！; e4 T6 t, A) G
我先来！
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m. h) q- y( m& e+ X" S1 o( }A说：“今天考试我交了白卷。”Ｂ说：“哎，我也交了白卷。”
3 J8 ~4 U6 X8 C2 O5 G同学Ａ生气的说：“你怎么能交白卷呢，老师会以为我们抄袭的！”+ u" o, N; b1 O: d- d1 B2 H
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深夜，王老师批改完最后一份试卷，疲惫地拧开了收音机，想听音乐放松一下。收音机里传来了dj的声音："xx中学高三级x班全班同学一同把这首歌奉献给他们敬爱的王xx老师听，感谢他多年来给他们出了无数道练习题(尤其是这年)，使他们得到了宝贵的练习机会……"听到这，王老师的眼睛湿润了，心力交瘁的脸上露出一安慰的笑意。dj又继续说："……现在就让我们一起来听这首歌，李惠敏的《你不会有好结果》…"' O$ P( @; O8 Q: U2 L
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3 Q( h1 a" Y3 d7 X, C' |! J一位年轻女教师初次执教小学生美术课。她在黑板上画一个苹果问学生说：“这是什么呀？”学生异口同声回答：“是屁股。”女教师哭着去找校长，校长一听大怒，跟着老师来到教室训斥学生说：“你们越来越不像话了，为什么又把老师气哭了？”回头看了一看“啊！还在黑板上画了个屁股！” <span] 老师去吃自助餐] 昨天老妈教弟弟做作业，弟弟不动脑筋思考，& F' F& n s2 H' a. Z8 A. l
每道题都问妈妈，妈妈怒了：“你每道题都不会，干脆我帮你做算了！”9 w/ U' X, W& A
弟弟淡淡地说：“不行！字迹不一样会被老师发现的！” <span] 考场上一女生抱怨说：“老师，天气太热了，风扇都没风！”谁料老师说：“别急，等会儿看到试卷你就心凉了。” <span] 一帅哥毕业后到一所女子学校任教，由于年轻的男老师级少，
: M6 C% C% V2 j! R' u* T所以非常受欢迎。
6 S8 x8 A; b) G" ]. ^- R- U第一堂课，有一位女学生忘记带课本，帅哥老师请她站起来，* Y6 m; Y. Y8 M7 C# O
问其他同学该怎么处罚。她们很有默契的齐声说：“老师亲她一个！”6 W1 g- ~$ |3 v2 X
大家等着看老师的反应。老师瞄了那位同学一眼，6 X+ {7 E/ O0 x3 R: `4 D# G( ]. `) ?
回答：“不可以处罚老师！” <span] 今天听见两个老师在讨论管理上课吃东西的事情说：
6 G; n2 @, T a$ `; g, x有个学生老在我上课的时候偷吃瓜子，我毫不客气，见一次抓一次，一抓就是一大把！！！
: o6 S% I+ g4 h, p, \3 s9 |/ w0 r7 e不知道是不是我的错，那个上课吃东西的学生，被我抓过几次，但最近一两个月都没看过他上课吃东西了，我整个人瘦了很多。 <span] 一小学教师，最近在学车却不怎么喜欢去练车，教练问：“为什么经常没来学车？”
6 H: R! `& H' w% a+ j; G她：“在学校都是我骂学生，来你这边老是被你骂，我很不爽！！！” <span] 上高中嘴馋，几个同学合计买烧烤吃，不想带回来的时候被班主任发现没收了，结果第二天班主任闹了一天的肚子。 <span] 生物老师非洲野猪 K* u9 E. R0 X: m7 D' |( L
生物老师正兴致勃勃在台上描述非洲野猪的长相，偶尔眼光一扫台下，竟发现多数学生在打瞌睡。, n! U4 u0 f$ R# A
于是大为恼火，喝道：“你们要看着我啊!不看我，你们怎么知道非洲野猪长的是什么样子?” <span] 老师：小明，你的美劳作品太好了，明天学校要派你参加全市的比赛。
1 `0 k* \; v3 d5 O小明：不行
5 x& w' w' ?( u$ C$ `( A O Q老师：為什麼？
) @$ k( l. x' K- L6 K* f小明：劳作是我爸做的，他明天要上班 <span] 妈妈：小明，你看，妹妹考100分，你才50分# A: N$ c: y) T/ U
小明：我是照你的话做的
9 {9 t) d: Y) ?9 l+ ?8 ]" M K妈妈：我说了什麼？' ~9 ]! F, @5 L" M) j* f& v( V
小明：你说我只要有妹妹的一半就很好了 <span] 小外甥女刚上一年级，有次语文考试得了74分，* p: o# Z5 v6 k1 M( P' A4 v! Z
她拿成绩单回来的时候她爸妈很生气，! O b6 ], J2 E$ K
就问你为什么只考了74] 老师：“] 老师：现在上‘急救课’“先做口对口人工呼吸”“这样重复做，会怎样？”* ?8 a* n0 `6 M( {8 N
小明：有人会告你性骚扰 <span] 小明放学回到家就问：麻麻，你不说女人都喜欢被夸吗？
% ?# r2 S/ E% F* a# R3 u妈妈说：是啊，为什么这么问？
7 u* r7 z8 J! z `" m6 c+ p* s小明沮丧着说：今天老师穿着超短裙来上课，我就夸老师，你的内裤好漂亮啊！4 [" S5 ~7 O3 K; o& }
然后，老师就给我撵出去了！！！
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大家每人发一个关于教师段子在跟贴后面，一起用关于教师的笑话来庆祝伟大的教育工作者的节日。8 Y- H, C$ ]8 s/ U( }
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