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1.赌城边上的一个生意人在街上碰到一个衣着不齐的流浪汉一样的人。 那人向生意人诉苦道：“先生，您能施舍我50块钱吗？我已经有两天两夜没有吃饭了。” 生意人瞥了一眼四周密密麻麻排列着的DC，怀疑地问道：“我怎么知道你不会拿这钱去赌？” 那人急忙辩道：“不会的！赌的钱我已经要到了！”# O! y6 b7 }& b, p
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2.有一个赌棍，每次DB都会带自己的女友去，而且每次都会赢!有一天女友终于按捺不住了，问男友：“你怎么每次赌都带我去，是不是想用我的美色勾引他们?”
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男友不屑地回答道：“你想哪儿去了，我带你去是吓他们的!”; d$ I3 s6 k1 S; p1 @
9 ?4 E$ @6 k9 F5 J7 ~. _3.老公爱打MJ，有天上小学的女儿对他说：老湿说打麻将是Dubo，会被JC抓走的。% ]2 q0 O9 q% N
8 M. L9 Q1 y" x# [" y老公：怕啥呀，万一我被判刑了，你可以给老爸送饭啊。
5 Z* s7 t* O; J8 ?' y/ R' ~/ r; B6 U1 _. ^ G6 F. j3 D
女儿同情地说：万一判死刑呢。。。
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1 N- Y( _ \. Z: j+ C& [笑死我了。。。
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0 A1 Y2 r! D" |0 B9 l+ ]& \6 h4.我的一个小外甥女，有一次接她放学回家，; p& T/ m4 @& m( H! u& m$ v: s0 ~: ]
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可能是饿了，一回家就要吃饭，" Y1 ]% _" f, f6 Q7 O Q" F
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我就想逗逗她:小妞妞，想吃饭要背三字经给舅舅听哦，不然没饭吃哦!7 s2 x. s) |* b$ A, Y/ P3 [ N
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她一听急了张口就来:人之初，性本善，要读书，先吃饭!! y, l0 c7 U& P' Z; S0 G
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晚上，孩子趴在桌子上写日记：“夜深了，妈妈仍在打MJ，爸爸仍在上网……”/ y+ S) M7 g6 s8 k
) f3 ?" ^2 J8 H! J7 p1 `6 \恰巧爸爸走了过来，看到孩子写的这句话，有点不高兴，
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; b6 ^8 N. v- P, |0 [7 V就教育孩子说：“日记不能照搬生活，要源于生活，高于生活!”
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1 ]& [. e3 a7 ~" g$ b( a孩子听了，马上修改为：“夜深了，妈妈仍在DB，爸爸仍在网恋…
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, F0 ^( M: a1 z* _8 o5.两天输掉十多万了，我一天的固定收入才四千，0 o& `( Z. I* O1 _( }5 [$ W' g
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我不能再沉迷于DB了，该找个姑娘过正常人的生活了！
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一女看我留言后:你若能改，我愿意做你女朋友。
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8 a/ O8 x; D: l, O! i9 u当晚我俩见面开房，睡后，躺床上女问我：你是做什么生意的？
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E2 A. i5 `9 y我，无业闲人一个。) P9 f+ e B! |/ }( {
' A3 R: S- }2 L. D& T; }女:扯淡，那怎么每天收入四千？
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# A+ y1 m' X. J; o我说的是欢乐豆，一天就能领四千豆。
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女：滚她妈犊子，滚…
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当前离线
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