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1.局花9 N& ~* g! s5 f) T- h. T% S- T
局里最漂亮的MM有了男朋友，一直暗恋她的小孙看到自己的女神被别人抱在怀中，5 q. @7 r0 X5 C" r
心里很不是滋味，一连郁闷了好几天。同事们看他脸色不对，便问他怎么回事，$ C; ]9 U1 J) r7 k6 O- N
小孙垂头丧气地说：“唉……局花被别人抱了。
5 q, Q8 w% L. Y+ ^0 t评论：兄弟节哀，这有凡士林你用么
( Y& w3 t, b0 M
2 e& K; S4 v0 T; S$ ~# Z( W& ?5 E. Q2.媳妇% q0 o8 N; T" G/ O- A
10岁弟弟不好好学习，还和他妈顶嘴，把他妈气坏了。
; S( t, s$ e2 E( W他爸帮腔说：“这是我媳妇你凭什么惹她生气，等你将来娶媳妇了，我也这么气你媳妇你乐意啊？”
% G$ V, G. n0 t8 Y2 b谁知弟弟上去搂她妈亲一口说：“那我敢亲你媳妇，你将来敢亲我媳妇吗？”
( P% R. s2 M+ G; p- R7 {. h/ c4 K评论：老爸在想，这孩子还是真孝顺
6 O; o6 u# c- g* Z$ h3 s e5 l' e$ ?3 ?# [7 l6 X" U$ T
3.倒贴
$ K4 ^ K4 D9 p. z% U过年了，老张看别人家门上都倒贴一个“福”字，寓意“福到了”。! N' y: o! u' s" Y
于是他就写了个“钱”字，也倒着贴上，寓意“钱到了”。
+ F2 \' y- F/ V2 c5 Q9 E老婆看见以后问：“这是你贴的吗？”6 R$ a+ B+ m) C. T
老张得意地说：“是啊，我帖的！”
$ J, q( Y$ a3 f/ b# b/ |话音刚落，只听“啪”一声，一记响亮的耳光抽在老张的脸上，
+ d% Z, _3 @2 J' W9 s2 o; L- y: e“我让你倒贴钱！我让你倒贴钱！倒贴钱...！”
. r9 I/ x9 P M) x评论：天朝语言文化博大精深啊9 h) ^' g. Y$ v8 q" s
0 d* A( O6 Z$ m1 h/ Z4.刺激' u7 m: n. T2 `, f$ B6 b
今天我走在街上，+ s0 `* V7 G& k$ c9 Y+ z$ s& I
对面过来一老奶奶，当我跟她擦肩而过的时候，她一把就扶住了我的胳膊，慢慢地就往下躺
. C6 R5 D( f. J，我心想完了。
$ J/ m4 ]+ r7 a3 C6 G4 k过了二十秒，老奶奶自个又站起来了，拍了拍身上的土。8 l1 N( B3 U3 W) @2 w/ b
“孩子，刺不刺激，人生到处是惊喜。”说完就走了。
5 Q7 n Z* W7 x- Z$ f- U尼玛，英雄不问出处！贪玩不分岁数啊！！# w/ _6 `3 k; k" X
评论：老奶奶走后我拿着她的钱包：确实刺激
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5.不加倍3 n1 s" i# D0 e; m
小明昨天熬夜玩了一晚上斗地主，9 G# ~- ?4 i) a
今天有气无力的到了教室，教室里正在开班会。
0 m& D' l7 |4 \3 ] J y老师：“已经临近期末考试，但是你们的课堂练习还是太少，我认为作业应该加倍，你们认为呢？”
+ N9 r! V, V8 p小红：“不加倍！” 小刚：“不加倍！”
0 R$ `! E9 { \3 s' v; K0 m' I小明顿时来了劲：“抢地主！！！”。。。老师：“滚出去！”
) L. `' M+ B3 ]( ^3 p评论：尼玛应该先抢地主才加倍的2 I3 W% u: b; B: S' [! G& S
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