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1.局花
% p1 N2 C& [3 W# B' ]( C9 ^/ F7 ~局里最漂亮的MM有了男朋友，一直暗恋她的小孙看到自己的女神被别人抱在怀中，
1 A) A3 s" n/ J6 }心里很不是滋味，一连郁闷了好几天。同事们看他脸色不对，便问他怎么回事，4 v& r7 r0 i2 C- s3 `4 S
小孙垂头丧气地说：“唉……局花被别人抱了。
( f% l W0 m0 ]$ ~! c% j评论：兄弟节哀，这有凡士林你用么+ V T! K2 T, m# k- W/ u4 Z
' L- A/ e0 }; n, l5 R+ c
2.媳妇2 @# ]( X: Q+ a7 S# {
10岁弟弟不好好学习，还和他妈顶嘴，把他妈气坏了。
3 D& }6 a4 [% ^( @/ d& ^6 x: h他爸帮腔说：“这是我媳妇你凭什么惹她生气，等你将来娶媳妇了，我也这么气你媳妇你乐意啊？”5 O4 {; Z$ x2 h1 E* H& m
谁知弟弟上去搂她妈亲一口说：“那我敢亲你媳妇，你将来敢亲我媳妇吗？”
0 k% R& n. u! X8 l7 i& |% Y评论：老爸在想，这孩子还是真孝顺" ]* |' ?9 N9 \1 G+ j8 ^) h
0 \; [6 I3 v5 s! N" C1 i1 _1 d' z3.倒贴5 @$ R$ Y+ j- u3 ]
过年了，老张看别人家门上都倒贴一个“福”字，寓意“福到了”。
F0 h" M5 S* L, a+ @' w于是他就写了个“钱”字，也倒着贴上，寓意“钱到了”。- K1 s. M/ m2 K% E9 ~9 C
老婆看见以后问：“这是你贴的吗？”: L T; a- [$ ~; @, s8 b
老张得意地说：“是啊，我帖的！”+ ^" g. Y2 N. O& P! R9 _) h' `
话音刚落，只听“啪”一声，一记响亮的耳光抽在老张的脸上，. y# h( d ]# ^# e! F/ x
“我让你倒贴钱！我让你倒贴钱！倒贴钱...！”; M0 ?0 U) f k
评论：天朝语言文化博大精深啊
4 K& |6 [* ` G v& d$ n3 t# z6 {1 W$ N \' y" }( ]. }
4.刺激5 o0 R9 K- S6 X3 l
今天我走在街上，
+ ^0 d- f- H, D0 m5 K4 E' O/ P8 w9 s对面过来一老奶奶，当我跟她擦肩而过的时候，她一把就扶住了我的胳膊，慢慢地就往下躺
6 _5 u) W$ T1 }，我心想完了。
3 Q8 O" [0 S+ s" Q, I过了二十秒，老奶奶自个又站起来了，拍了拍身上的土。7 C) Y( V4 _0 K. I# V1 v
“孩子，刺不刺激，人生到处是惊喜。”说完就走了。
+ y+ i, ]3 }- T. T6 A8 G7 J) u尼玛，英雄不问出处！贪玩不分岁数啊！！
; k* z. o* A$ `( p评论：老奶奶走后我拿着她的钱包：确实刺激$ [- X( X, p$ n6 b& W
, T5 y* Q5 m0 I4 x
5.不加倍) F+ y3 c/ }3 [0 R- E0 o3 g- Q
小明昨天熬夜玩了一晚上斗地主，6 u7 a( E+ |( X- X) `2 z
今天有气无力的到了教室，教室里正在开班会。5 h7 a3 h. V1 N' _
老师：“已经临近期末考试，但是你们的课堂练习还是太少，我认为作业应该加倍，你们认为呢？”
) R3 \' r; f4 j* m% e0 y小红：“不加倍！” 小刚：“不加倍！”
1 W2 Y1 Z" e; p! N+ K$ F小明顿时来了劲：“抢地主！！！”。。。老师：“滚出去！”
/ W5 ]2 m5 z( M评论：尼玛应该先抢地主才加倍的3 }7 Q8 |: r4 x. z3 d. @5 u" T' P- e
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