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1.局花
2 e) J; C3 V0 U& T5 Y- D局里最漂亮的MM有了男朋友，一直暗恋她的小孙看到自己的女神被别人抱在怀中，
5 k4 M8 u3 s0 h' f( k$ g3 O心里很不是滋味，一连郁闷了好几天。同事们看他脸色不对，便问他怎么回事，
3 w: ?; o$ T) p3 o小孙垂头丧气地说：“唉……局花被别人抱了。
6 o' q9 ^; S( X; J5 j! O评论：兄弟节哀，这有凡士林你用么
* z7 n3 w6 W4 O; l$ L2 z
* o5 ^* s+ J/ V7 P! x! M9 b$ i3 ~2.媳妇
1 ?! ^2 c8 \+ A( @- R U6 Z10岁弟弟不好好学习，还和他妈顶嘴，把他妈气坏了。
* H$ V! y3 H9 O$ j他爸帮腔说：“这是我媳妇你凭什么惹她生气，等你将来娶媳妇了，我也这么气你媳妇你乐意啊？”* {5 `" _& J" H6 ^
谁知弟弟上去搂她妈亲一口说：“那我敢亲你媳妇，你将来敢亲我媳妇吗？”
, L4 E8 F+ K: ?4 p) {! M评论：老爸在想，这孩子还是真孝顺
, B* ^2 N) r/ F
: ~0 I! [+ Z0 X9 h. y8 d; M" W+ _3.倒贴
7 a( m: A; W- V过年了，老张看别人家门上都倒贴一个“福”字，寓意“福到了”。# B; e6 ?7 W$ l; Z- X4 g1 }" e
于是他就写了个“钱”字，也倒着贴上，寓意“钱到了”。/ p* C9 ~4 o# N5 Y+ k
老婆看见以后问：“这是你贴的吗？”4 }: R7 b8 l8 c
老张得意地说：“是啊，我帖的！”
/ ?2 t' G0 V% \( \7 d6 s话音刚落，只听“啪”一声，一记响亮的耳光抽在老张的脸上，0 ?6 v. ?7 t' y0 [# e
“我让你倒贴钱！我让你倒贴钱！倒贴钱...！”
2 L$ Y& j+ w7 P8 X' ^" Z# ]评论：天朝语言文化博大精深啊
4 u% s: K- H0 S& P+ ?
- F; f1 \; m& H$ W5 A# x) e4.刺激( m& T v# ~- H2 S6 b. e
今天我走在街上，
) J* W, @& y. g7 J对面过来一老奶奶，当我跟她擦肩而过的时候，她一把就扶住了我的胳膊，慢慢地就往下躺
* t' T& o o' }，我心想完了。
- y* M4 G6 _! d+ l: s) ]6 i过了二十秒，老奶奶自个又站起来了，拍了拍身上的土。4 J& N1 X! Z" ~
“孩子，刺不刺激，人生到处是惊喜。”说完就走了。
: d- G+ q9 l; _5 M' H尼玛，英雄不问出处！贪玩不分岁数啊！！4 D+ R# W/ _2 b) E$ U- @
评论：老奶奶走后我拿着她的钱包：确实刺激
h/ r) k4 s% r" ^
% x, E6 N* N" e6 O% h% ^5 O4 u5.不加倍. K* [* ~# Q* w# I4 ]& L
小明昨天熬夜玩了一晚上斗地主，( Q6 _" D- B+ Q( k2 _0 j5 E
今天有气无力的到了教室，教室里正在开班会。
7 \ o1 U& _- Y9 o" b1 A老师：“已经临近期末考试，但是你们的课堂练习还是太少，我认为作业应该加倍，你们认为呢？”
7 e9 ^; H+ G2 U3 g }4 x小红：“不加倍！” 小刚：“不加倍！”
4 h- t8 v6 J j. a6 @小明顿时来了劲：“抢地主！！！”。。。老师：“滚出去！”$ Z% ]% L2 f4 h c( |2 L
评论：尼玛应该先抢地主才加倍的. B4 C O0 `5 S0 x$ C
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