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1.局花 ?: T; B. v- t9 F% q$ Q8 V$ J( q+ N+ a
局里最漂亮的MM有了男朋友，一直暗恋她的小孙看到自己的女神被别人抱在怀中，( y& k8 L; b; `, V. y
心里很不是滋味，一连郁闷了好几天。同事们看他脸色不对，便问他怎么回事，
9 v, ] U; R4 {小孙垂头丧气地说：“唉……局花被别人抱了。2 y6 d) p" ^) b" v8 b$ i' }
评论：兄弟节哀，这有凡士林你用么) b2 |6 w! E j9 O1 b; r( a* V5 O
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2.媳妇
0 B) N" m& }1 v; y: d/ Z* T, b10岁弟弟不好好学习，还和他妈顶嘴，把他妈气坏了。 \* ^$ }) ^' Q2 U# q
他爸帮腔说：“这是我媳妇你凭什么惹她生气，等你将来娶媳妇了，我也这么气你媳妇你乐意啊？”7 j6 F: F& P ~) c; m, R
谁知弟弟上去搂她妈亲一口说：“那我敢亲你媳妇，你将来敢亲我媳妇吗？”
/ f3 W6 I0 C; x _0 n7 [7 f评论：老爸在想，这孩子还是真孝顺
# a @( l9 Z& N4 |* E9 C1 g! [) _& e6 K. H6 r1 d. V+ t
3.倒贴
4 ]# a6 c' u% E过年了，老张看别人家门上都倒贴一个“福”字，寓意“福到了”。* z: z* d8 ~7 d- U; L4 q0 E |
于是他就写了个“钱”字，也倒着贴上，寓意“钱到了”。$ K: @3 _; R5 Y: k# K$ x
老婆看见以后问：“这是你贴的吗？”$ V# A* h4 M8 C$ W3 F& t
老张得意地说：“是啊，我帖的！”
& l" Y3 _4 ]4 v9 Z话音刚落，只听“啪”一声，一记响亮的耳光抽在老张的脸上，8 z% x; g6 e6 E5 r) L2 f
“我让你倒贴钱！我让你倒贴钱！倒贴钱...！”$ V4 V1 H: A) Z+ h
评论：天朝语言文化博大精深啊
0 A2 {1 f0 g/ H" J% K' A! ~8 M( o" ~# `7 J" J. }9 u
4.刺激8 t/ x( e0 k0 W* D- v
今天我走在街上，
" \2 p. \! z% s1 o3 s( }对面过来一老奶奶，当我跟她擦肩而过的时候，她一把就扶住了我的胳膊，慢慢地就往下躺/ a4 _5 K! j ?) [$ k
，我心想完了。
% S; w6 U6 C) b; L- {! L( Q过了二十秒，老奶奶自个又站起来了，拍了拍身上的土。/ J) f6 Z3 Z. z- m1 }! `4 N- ~9 F
“孩子，刺不刺激，人生到处是惊喜。”说完就走了。
! I+ y) {& ]' }5 |5 q尼玛，英雄不问出处！贪玩不分岁数啊！！
- D+ a0 b4 w9 y+ T评论：老奶奶走后我拿着她的钱包：确实刺激* ]; V6 P( N* t) `: |4 e
+ b; x2 [; k+ l9 l- w. x: _1 c5.不加倍; W1 j( m0 n; }* P' M, g' e7 {
小明昨天熬夜玩了一晚上斗地主，
3 f- M5 B: Y6 {' U; {今天有气无力的到了教室，教室里正在开班会。8 P+ T8 k( W6 U6 s6 {9 x
老师：“已经临近期末考试，但是你们的课堂练习还是太少，我认为作业应该加倍，你们认为呢？”% C& K2 M. a4 N! G2 a0 R7 V! g! E1 d
小红：“不加倍！” 小刚：“不加倍！”! X. Y# @/ w% @- c; P, I: n/ s
小明顿时来了劲：“抢地主！！！”。。。老师：“滚出去！”; \" H6 l3 s8 G# l8 v" @
评论：尼玛应该先抢地主才加倍的# u/ x p& t3 }6 V; H
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