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1.局花% J5 `2 e8 F1 I5 N/ M/ Z1 |) w
局里最漂亮的MM有了男朋友，一直暗恋她的小孙看到自己的女神被别人抱在怀中，4 I6 b) k$ {% d' w& ^ C
心里很不是滋味，一连郁闷了好几天。同事们看他脸色不对，便问他怎么回事，, @' k1 h9 M6 |3 m
小孙垂头丧气地说：“唉……局花被别人抱了。6 V l0 D4 s9 {3 D {/ W
评论：兄弟节哀，这有凡士林你用么
5 T4 f" A* k3 j) O
; e* f* T2 d, a2.媳妇
7 u9 _) m4 O1 W10岁弟弟不好好学习，还和他妈顶嘴，把他妈气坏了。
8 T9 y2 b( ?1 f. v他爸帮腔说：“这是我媳妇你凭什么惹她生气，等你将来娶媳妇了，我也这么气你媳妇你乐意啊？”9 s: {6 v/ `8 A8 C1 ]
谁知弟弟上去搂她妈亲一口说：“那我敢亲你媳妇，你将来敢亲我媳妇吗？”8 X9 V4 O& ^9 U! ]3 g# ]
评论：老爸在想，这孩子还是真孝顺
9 `4 R, \8 j* B( E+ C) N, E# K
7 j0 W8 ^& n5 r9 }" \# e3.倒贴( V" w- Q2 [" D% k" M& {; F
过年了，老张看别人家门上都倒贴一个“福”字，寓意“福到了”。
8 s' O- | c7 v于是他就写了个“钱”字，也倒着贴上，寓意“钱到了”。& Z. O5 S* } F) q. Y
老婆看见以后问：“这是你贴的吗？”
0 l3 F# b3 h+ q+ x6 M1 X' e老张得意地说：“是啊，我帖的！”0 Q/ Q$ ?, L Y! H2 _" E* H% `# M; x
话音刚落，只听“啪”一声，一记响亮的耳光抽在老张的脸上，3 d: O' t9 |3 X7 t7 G, _. x) o
“我让你倒贴钱！我让你倒贴钱！倒贴钱...！”
( C2 p; c8 ~2 U% q评论：天朝语言文化博大精深啊
3 {% a+ X2 t: s+ w4 G2 |/ e' S5 L/ a4 \
4.刺激
: N5 Z7 I( T1 H$ U5 T今天我走在街上，
) W3 n1 h& P3 X- U9 i对面过来一老奶奶，当我跟她擦肩而过的时候，她一把就扶住了我的胳膊，慢慢地就往下躺
, f# r5 W7 |6 m6 p; X，我心想完了。
) @* O; ]* R# k* v3 K2 H. l过了二十秒，老奶奶自个又站起来了，拍了拍身上的土。
' N8 f& E' L# ^4 a3 c4 @5 \3 q7 r' {“孩子，刺不刺激，人生到处是惊喜。”说完就走了。
& _# E- [" D4 b7 V# n5 I6 o尼玛，英雄不问出处！贪玩不分岁数啊！！/ Z) E& ^$ Y' y& }+ Q9 `
评论：老奶奶走后我拿着她的钱包：确实刺激3 z' M; Z' _6 p* N
! _8 m% h2 W, N2 s( p4 k! O5.不加倍
( w: k! k9 {2 p3 C2 b# ^8 b小明昨天熬夜玩了一晚上斗地主，+ z0 `. o# l7 o) v' h
今天有气无力的到了教室，教室里正在开班会。
/ Z9 x8 ]6 {$ K老师：“已经临近期末考试，但是你们的课堂练习还是太少，我认为作业应该加倍，你们认为呢？”) H' W i5 W' {. J# @
小红：“不加倍！” 小刚：“不加倍！”
' n0 j+ W2 W' c5 s! J小明顿时来了劲：“抢地主！！！”。。。老师：“滚出去！”- n8 ]7 B" Q3 \8 f! r7 v5 j
评论：尼玛应该先抢地主才加倍的. M# I$ \/ L) j& d. O
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