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1.局花+ A' }3 C6 u; Y! u g, `
局里最漂亮的MM有了男朋友，一直暗恋她的小孙看到自己的女神被别人抱在怀中，* v0 L5 V- k$ E5 t, N
心里很不是滋味，一连郁闷了好几天。同事们看他脸色不对，便问他怎么回事，
! ~8 N, D1 L4 ~6 H& C- E/ t; A小孙垂头丧气地说：“唉……局花被别人抱了。
4 Y- ~# }% {' L$ W7 A评论：兄弟节哀，这有凡士林你用么
2 E0 f- M% f" ~" t. @
; L. J3 z% g; C; c4 D2.媳妇 W: a% h" c( l9 B
10岁弟弟不好好学习，还和他妈顶嘴，把他妈气坏了。
% |8 h. M0 m6 ]% C- l他爸帮腔说：“这是我媳妇你凭什么惹她生气，等你将来娶媳妇了，我也这么气你媳妇你乐意啊？”& U; `% R& l5 ]0 N
谁知弟弟上去搂她妈亲一口说：“那我敢亲你媳妇，你将来敢亲我媳妇吗？”
; P, P3 W; P4 s0 P) w评论：老爸在想，这孩子还是真孝顺# E7 o# f/ `- y) V/ R- ?
9 h5 h; r: X6 d3.倒贴7 D- E9 N4 z+ T9 ^
过年了，老张看别人家门上都倒贴一个“福”字，寓意“福到了”。
$ h( }8 c( }0 c" ~7 L于是他就写了个“钱”字，也倒着贴上，寓意“钱到了”。
) q H) b; y$ a& t老婆看见以后问：“这是你贴的吗？”
7 a, e: c7 j: J3 o; l老张得意地说：“是啊，我帖的！”( O* e- N/ g2 k3 F0 H6 O
话音刚落，只听“啪”一声，一记响亮的耳光抽在老张的脸上，% K i2 u5 H8 t4 W: \
“我让你倒贴钱！我让你倒贴钱！倒贴钱...！”
, S8 n( a$ z3 q% D+ H' d评论：天朝语言文化博大精深啊
6 k Q) {2 T: \% k8 P9 F& N! `
' f: m* y3 L) s4.刺激) ]$ f, r+ X0 e
今天我走在街上，
2 m- K0 x7 r% y- |' I对面过来一老奶奶，当我跟她擦肩而过的时候，她一把就扶住了我的胳膊，慢慢地就往下躺
* `$ P: n: _" R! e，我心想完了。
; r2 o1 ^# W* N" i& W0 u/ {过了二十秒，老奶奶自个又站起来了，拍了拍身上的土。; W; H% g: Y/ t) S) L
“孩子，刺不刺激，人生到处是惊喜。”说完就走了。9 V+ y& Q4 Y% P
尼玛，英雄不问出处！贪玩不分岁数啊！！
9 v4 z8 ]' o3 ~6 w评论：老奶奶走后我拿着她的钱包：确实刺激
% l. @+ {2 B+ |
9 E7 z! j5 \0 M5 p9 z4 w5.不加倍& c1 @, O j) q& D- A; q! {
小明昨天熬夜玩了一晚上斗地主，/ J2 B) d, s- R& ~( N
今天有气无力的到了教室，教室里正在开班会。 Q$ n/ O! R; e" o: N) n
老师：“已经临近期末考试，但是你们的课堂练习还是太少，我认为作业应该加倍，你们认为呢？”2 J# n0 A9 C5 F2 N* A+ {) \. _
小红：“不加倍！” 小刚：“不加倍！”
% d# ?4 S# _6 M5 e0 @小明顿时来了劲：“抢地主！！！”。。。老师：“滚出去！”
" h% ^2 I$ z! P5 W评论：尼玛应该先抢地主才加倍的
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