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1.局花- |3 M, `" f( h
局里最漂亮的MM有了男朋友，一直暗恋她的小孙看到自己的女神被别人抱在怀中，
/ e# _( \; d) O* E心里很不是滋味，一连郁闷了好几天。同事们看他脸色不对，便问他怎么回事，
2 G, t2 A3 y# e9 @# v; r, u小孙垂头丧气地说：“唉……局花被别人抱了。
" q$ g5 y g2 }* B评论：兄弟节哀，这有凡士林你用么
2 f. x+ }" c8 D G
' r4 e4 A2 s4 e% ^; L2.媳妇3 p9 ?3 ~9 l3 X6 M7 R5 x
10岁弟弟不好好学习，还和他妈顶嘴，把他妈气坏了。
# i; ]6 c, G, x( {6 M; {; x0 t他爸帮腔说：“这是我媳妇你凭什么惹她生气，等你将来娶媳妇了，我也这么气你媳妇你乐意啊？”$ U3 G1 H" G F' k2 X
谁知弟弟上去搂她妈亲一口说：“那我敢亲你媳妇，你将来敢亲我媳妇吗？”
# n4 z d* z" n8 T评论：老爸在想，这孩子还是真孝顺
+ f9 K: _6 x& F8 D! L8 g+ {
/ y+ a9 S3 R; v1 h9 R0 }8 b3.倒贴5 _( N5 G6 O6 w# Z
过年了，老张看别人家门上都倒贴一个“福”字，寓意“福到了”。
% L3 B) T( m `2 @. p) w0 ]" i于是他就写了个“钱”字，也倒着贴上，寓意“钱到了”。7 r3 c V. l4 c/ F
老婆看见以后问：“这是你贴的吗？”
% Z- q' Z6 U! [老张得意地说：“是啊，我帖的！”
- u$ [ d# o* Z5 F) s' t; ?话音刚落，只听“啪”一声，一记响亮的耳光抽在老张的脸上，
2 d0 l2 J1 G' N“我让你倒贴钱！我让你倒贴钱！倒贴钱...！”* S' j: E8 d' \. Y
评论：天朝语言文化博大精深啊
$ k4 a, O3 M9 A: Q0 L( P, O
; ~* w c: b! S; Z6 A: t4.刺激
+ J; x$ y' D# a今天我走在街上，
" [6 H8 D0 i$ ~' ~2 ]对面过来一老奶奶，当我跟她擦肩而过的时候，她一把就扶住了我的胳膊，慢慢地就往下躺, p' Y- N9 ^3 B k* `
，我心想完了。
; @3 k! p8 B5 P4 j过了二十秒，老奶奶自个又站起来了，拍了拍身上的土。
- r$ R5 ?: v8 a2 c2 X) c6 ]2 `“孩子，刺不刺激，人生到处是惊喜。”说完就走了。
6 \$ s% `2 |- j, q/ u, q( P尼玛，英雄不问出处！贪玩不分岁数啊！！
6 X, g5 i/ f; T" d: F评论：老奶奶走后我拿着她的钱包：确实刺激( f* g3 S) s- V; Q5 `
, h3 \5 ~* M8 j4 G. w$ X1 {5.不加倍
2 G' z, x) m K* h7 i! E: }小明昨天熬夜玩了一晚上斗地主，
8 ?$ ~+ l# O, c6 Q+ Z今天有气无力的到了教室，教室里正在开班会。
. \. h: v0 ^% W老师：“已经临近期末考试，但是你们的课堂练习还是太少，我认为作业应该加倍，你们认为呢？”/ P4 W1 G1 [' ^: `& j3 r7 h* s
小红：“不加倍！” 小刚：“不加倍！”
6 d8 n, K0 p* a( x, ?8 U& K小明顿时来了劲：“抢地主！！！”。。。老师：“滚出去！”5 \: S* w6 q% O8 x2 H" T1 o
评论：尼玛应该先抢地主才加倍的4 k7 ~7 v; n+ T( u7 ^- M7 e* V
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