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当前离线
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1.赌城边上的一个生意人在街上碰到一个衣着不齐的流浪汉一样的人。 那人向生意人诉苦道:“先生,您能施舍我50块钱吗?我已经有两天两夜没有吃饭了。” 生意人瞥了一眼四周密密麻麻排列着的DC,怀疑地问道:“我怎么知道你不会拿这钱去赌?” 那人急忙辩道:“不会的!赌的钱我已经要到了!”
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2.有一个赌棍,每次DB都会带自己的女友去,而且每次都会赢!有一天女友终于按捺不住了,问男友:“你怎么每次赌都带我去,是不是想用我的美色勾引他们?”& ]9 D) F+ F$ a+ L, ?7 I- R1 C
) p9 ]! n; t+ @" d& W: {& a4 b男友不屑地回答道:“你想哪儿去了,我带你去是吓他们的!”
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3.老公爱打MJ,有天上小学的女儿对他说:老湿说打麻将是Dubo,会被JC抓走的。
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7 @7 Z2 V! M. O/ _. t) P* f老公:怕啥呀,万一我被判刑了,你可以给老爸送饭啊。) a. |5 L0 }! P4 Q5 P* E' L( G* X0 d
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女儿同情地说:万一判死刑呢。。。/ X+ l$ Y0 e j4 y* ?- J
1 X4 k2 A( ~* V笑死我了。。。
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% `7 c4 P( s( P$ z4.我的一个小外甥女,有一次接她放学回家,# c3 j/ F# k% L/ r! ]- e: w: a
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可能是饿了,一回家就要吃饭,+ K# {5 l( k& I7 M$ k" S4 a
" v; k }4 P' x5 F我就想逗逗她:小妞妞,想吃饭要背三字经给舅舅听哦,不然没饭吃哦!
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' k: N9 L$ W2 F2 b0 G她一听急了张口就来:人之初,性本善,要读书,先吃饭!0 z" C X. H7 [( W5 L
/ `& H) f" {5 @3 _" s晚上,孩子趴在桌子上写日记:“夜深了,妈妈仍在打MJ,爸爸仍在上网……”/ u$ i* n# I) Y% p
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恰巧爸爸走了过来,看到孩子写的这句话,有点不高兴,
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; a% D* ]3 c1 d, b! I8 k& A就教育孩子说:“日记不能照搬生活,要源于生活,高于生活!”
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孩子听了,马上修改为:“夜深了,妈妈仍在DB,爸爸仍在网恋…
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2 i& R( s6 W; g1 f) n7 A5.两天输掉十多万了,我一天的固定收入才四千,2 x8 c V7 |$ Y- K3 @- n$ G
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我不能再沉迷于DB了,该找个姑娘过正常人的生活了!( A" y5 M: Q9 f- u' |: l
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一女看我留言后:你若能改,我愿意做你女朋友。2 |1 S- q( K. C+ W# ^" z( O- B
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当晚我俩见面开房,睡后,躺床上女问我:你是做什么生意的?, [/ {) `8 O! \$ F$ ^4 p6 k* H: P
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我,无业闲人一个。) K1 s, G, P! j1 T
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女:扯淡,那怎么每天收入四千?2 M3 e/ B3 i' ?8 w( o
8 W2 k: R+ v" e" z" M, g我说的是欢乐豆,一天就能领四千豆。. g; k- g3 S* C; P2 u
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女:滚她妈犊子,滚…
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当前离线
经验:
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